Diet-toons℠ (Click a toon for the punch line.) × “𝐀 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐦𝐢𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐫.⠀“𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡.”⠀😂⠀ × “𝐈’𝐦 𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐞. ⠀“𝐑𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐞.”⠀🤣 × “Broccoli might get stuck in your teeth, but French fries will get stuck on your ass.”😂 × “I was at Walmart today buying a large bag of Purina dog food. While waiting in the checkout line a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. I’m thinking to myself, ‘what do you think lady? No, I have a pet elephant at home.’ Since I had nothing better to do than entertain myself, I told her I didn’t have a dog, but that I was again starting the Purina Diet. “I then quickly added that I probably shouldn’t because I ended up in the hospital the last time I did this diet, that I lost 27 lbs. but woke up in the intensive care unit with tubes coming out of my nose and mouth and an IV in my arm.“Everyone in line was enthralled in my story by this point. I told the woman it was essentially a perfect diet, the way it works was so simple: just load your pockets with Purina Nuggets and eat one or two whenever you’re hungry. The food is nutritionally balanced, and it worked so well that I thought I’d try it again.“Horrified, she asked if I ended up in the hospital because the dog food poisoned me. I told her ‘No, I stopped to pee on a fire hydrant, and a car hit me.’“I thought the guy behind her in line was going to blow a gasket, he was laughing so hard.”😂 × “I bought a talking refrigerator that said “Oink” every time I opened the door. It made me hungry for pork chops.”😂 × “Losing weight doesn’t seem to be working so I’m just going to focus on getting taller.”😁 × “Whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes.” 😂 × “I gain weight so easily that even food for thought goes right to my thighs.”😂 Load More