Published on January 19, 2018
(c) JoeyBear Fotosearch_k12016855
Want to bring out the worst in people? Lose weight. Whether it’s 10 pounds or a ton, just watch and see how you’ll be showered with so much fattening food—by people who claim to love you! Why is that? When dieters fall off the wagon, they’re always shocked to think that someone else may have had a hand in their failure. Then it dawns on them: Oh yeah, the apple cake that Mom just baked and set out on the counter, the surprise box of candy from the usually unthoughtful husband, the coworker who left the late-afternoon Krispy Kreme doughnuts on your desk.
“Why is that?” you might ask. The answer: Diet saboteurs. They’re everywhere.
The problem usually starts because you’re in change mode, but your friends and family aren’t. A real friend would rarely intentionally and maliciously undermine your diet. They just do unconscious things to keep the relationship the way it was. A few reasons why they do this are:
You might ask: “How do I politely say “back off” to those I love?”
The answer: Make friends with the enemy!
To fend off sabotage, whether deliberate or subconscious, there are three classic actions you can take that are likely to pave the way to long-term weight loss.
Unfortunately, there are also some downright vicious saboteurs who consciously work to undermine you. They may pressure you to eat the way they do in order to remain part of a group, not-so-subtly implying that you’re no friend if you don’t. Clearly tell them, “This is not helpful to me.” They can’t deny they’ve heard you, and, if necessary, you may have to avoid them for a while or find less toxic friends. If all else fails, “call a sponsor”—someone you know who will talk you through it.
Finally, there’s the issue of support from your spouse. If you’ve been direct in asking your husband, wife or domestic partner for help but don’t get it, you may need to seek couples’ or family counseling. There’s no getting around it: A poor response from your partner often suggests something else is going on.
If you’re overweight or obese, you already know all the health benefits of losing weight. Now you have another good reason to do so: You’ll learn who your real friends (and foes) are!