Why Do You Hate Being Fat?

(c) Khironaka Fotosearch_k5791470

I deal with a lot of folks who suffer from what I call CCD (Chronic Complaining Disease). These are miserable being overweight or obese, who repeatedly tell me “I hate being fat,” but who don’t do anything for the long-term about it. It’s almost as if they think (hope and pray) that the act of complaining burns calories so the more they complain the more calories they’ll burn and somehow, magically, they’ll lose weight. If only.

Over and over again during appointments with these clients, we speak about the same issues. They’re looking right at me, I know they hear me, but they’re not listening. And if they are listening at that moment, I can tell at the next appointment that they disregarded everything I said previously and didn’t follow instructions because we’re having the same discussion as last visit . . . and the visit before that.

One of the “index cards” tools I will use is to hand a client one or two lined, 4×6 index cards. I’ll write along the top:

“Why do you hate being fat?”

. . . and I ask them to hand-write their answers in one or two ways:

“I hate being fat because __________________.”

or

“I hate _______________________________.”

I want them to fill in the blank as their thoughts come to them, and not to focus on prioritizing their answers, and to provide as many responses as may be necessary.

I ask them to bring the cards back to their next appointment. Not only do we discuss their responses, but I make copies of them for my files, and I ask them to keep the original cards on their person (in their wallets, or in their personal appointment books or diaries) . . . anywhere they can get quick access at any time. And whenever, wherever, they are about to do eat or drink something that is directly counter to what they want most of all to achieve, to pull out those cards and look at their responses.

Over 20+ years, I’ve collected many responses, more than I could ever present in total. However, here’s a collection of real answers, from real clients, young and old, male and female, to the question, “Why do you hate being fat?”

😢

I hate feeling like everyone is staring at me when I’m out.

I hate feeling masculine and bigger than everyone else.

I hate being known as the person who will always eat the leftovers.

I hate always seeing back rolls in all my clothes.

I hate my double chin.

I hate feeling like I’ll squish my husband if I sit on his lap.

I hate feeling so hot in the summer.

I hate people staring at me.

I hate not finding clothes that fit.

I hate being unhealthy.

I hated being called fat by my brother.

I hate being with my really skinny friends and having the guys hit on them.

I hate that my dad died at 54 of heart disease and diabetes; I’m following in his footsteps.

I hate being the fattest mom at church and at our school group gatherings.

I hate being the happy fat friend that I was in college and still am to this day.

I hate to think that my son might be embarrassed to bring someone home to meet me.

I hate crying every time I look at myself in the mirror.

I hate it that I feel like my boyfriend is too good for me because he’s in such good shape.

I hate it that my fat makes me not want to work out because I feel like its hopeless.

I hate it because I am tall, and my also being fat makes me feel like a man.

I hate it because I can’t enjoy shopping.

I hate how I look and am always untagging myself from Facebook photos.

I hate the way I look in pictures. I don’t feel as fat as I obviously look.

I hate feeling out of breath after playing with my kids for 5 minutes.

I hate feeling embarrassed when I order food in front of certain people.

I hate it because I am not in any of the pictures of my daughter’s first 7 months of life.

I hate it because I am mortified when my shirt gets caught in the folds when I sit.

I hate just not feeling good about myself in general.

I hate it, knowing I’m far prettier thin.

I hate trying on clothes and knowing they would be so cute if I were just skinny.

I hate trying to suck in my stomach ALL the time.

I hate it because my jiggly jello tummy, arms, and legs are so gross.

I hate it because I do not want to be a bad role model for my daughter.

I hate it because I feel so unattractive, no guy will ever look twice at me, and I’m sick of being lonely.

I hate it because I’m the only fat one in the family.

I hate it because I won’t let my spouse see me with the light on.

I hate the fact that my kids think this is OK.

I hate the fact that I hate getting my photo taken.

I hate not being able to shop at the trendy stores.

I hate seeing my back rolls in everything I wear.

I hate being nervous about traveling because I might be squishing someone in the next seat.

I hate feeling like people are looking at me because I’m fat.

I hate not being able to wear a bathing suit comfortably.

I hate pretending I’m happy being fat.

I hate being the fat girl in my circle of friends.

I hate seeing the double chin in pictures.

I hate having to wear a cardigan during summer to cover up so that I can feel comfortable.

I hate not being able to wear just a swimsuit to swim in; I always wear a T-shirt over my bathing suit.

I hate that my fat is a major risk in trying to conceive.

I hate that I can’t wear fashionable tall boots anymore; they don’t fit around my fat calves.

I hate feeling depressed when clothes shopping, having to buy the item that covers up the most.

I hate feeling guilty whenever I eat.

I hate that when I visit my folks my mother remarks about how big I’ve gotten.

I hate that my sister and father have successfully lost weight and kept it off and I haven’t.

I hate being bigger than my husband.

I hate not being able to do the things I use to do sports wise.

I hate feeling guilty when I eat more than my husband.

I hate being the only one of my friends who is not healthy enough to participate in a 5K event.

I hate not being able to run very fast for very long because it stresses my shins and joints.

I hate that obesity runs in the family, and it makes me feel like a victim when I give in.

I hate that I feel like I smell worse.

I hate not being able to play with my daughter for as long as she would like.

I hate that I have low self-esteem.

I hate the way I have to avert my eyes from the mirror when I get out of the shower.

I hate how hot and sweaty I get in the summer but still have to cover up.

I hate that all my old clothes don’t fit.

I hate that its three years later and I still have 25 lbs. of baby weight.

I hate that I’m only 23 and feel so much older; I want to feel 23 and look 23.

I hate that I tire easily and can’t keep up with my two-year old.

I hate that I don’t feel sexy anymore.

I hate that it makes shopping an annoying, frustrating and sad experience.

😢

If you suffer from CCD, set aside a little private time to do this exercise and see what you would add to the list.