Perspective is Everything

A client goes off-program for the weekend and says:

“I wanted to indulge.”

“I wanted to pamper myself.”

“I wanted to treat myself.”

When they say “indulge,” I hear “neglect.”

When they say “pamper,” I hear “punish.”

When they say “treat,” I hear “problem.”

This speaks to the way language can obscure the deeper emotional and behavioral patterns behind self-sabotage: What clients call self-care is often self-sabotage in disguise.

• “Indulge” → “Neglect”: What they label as indulgence is a form of turning away from their long-term wellbeing. A weekend binge may feel like freedom in the moment but reflects neglect of the commitments they’ve made to themselves.

• “Pamper” → “Punish”: That ‘reward’ often comes with guilt, bloating, and regret—punishing the body and mind instead. What’s marketed as pampering can leave someone feeling worse, not better.

• “Treat” → “Problem”: If it makes you fat and takes you further away from your goal, it’s not a treat; it’s a problem. Using treats as emotional regulation sets up a problematic cycle: stress leads to food, food leads to guilt, guilt leads to more stress. The treat becomes the trigger for the issue they’re trying to soothe. 

Your choices should serve the bigger picture.

And that requires rethinking your language and actions.

Instead of Indulging (which can mean neglecting your goals), choose to Nourish your body with foods that fuel your progress.

Swap Pampering (which might feel like punishing your hard work) for Caring—prioritizing rest and mindful habits.

And rather than giving yourself a Treat (which, if it makes you fat and takes you further from your goal, it’s not a treat; it’s a problem), Reward yourself with non-food wins, like joining a gym, buying a new pair of jeans, or blocking out quality time with a friend you haven’t seen in a while.

Perspective is everything—and I suggest you reframe these words more accurately:

• Real indulgence is honoring your goals.

• True pampering is getting rest, support, or pleasure without regret.

• A real treat is giving yourself something that energizes or uplifts you long-term.

True self-care is never self-abandonment; it never leaves you feeling defeated.

True self-care always supports your goals and never undermines them.