Published on October 10, 2020
(c) Aleutie Fotosearch_k19678482
I speak with so many people who swear how healthy they eat and they can’t understand why they gained weight, why they can’t lose weight, and why they are always so unsuccessful at dieting. And almost every single time, after doing some digging, they come to realize that THEY are their own biggest weight loss challenge. Not a diet. Not their busy lifestyle. Not the food they’re eating. It was them who was preventing themselves from losing weight.
And then they often sit in front of me and you can see how shocked they feel when they realize that they ARE in control. This actually happened not too long ago after I did a, shall we call it, a “food overhaul” in a conversation with a consult. I went through an entire day with her of how she normally eats. She was shocked to discover that she was eating almost 3000 calories a day of what she thought to be “healthy foods.” This was a huge eye opener for her and for the first time it became clear that her weight gain, and therefore her unsuccessful attempts at weight loss, had everything to do with her.
For so long, and as sooooo many people do, she focused her weight issues on everything but herself.
➡️ The diet didn’t work.➡️ She didn’t have enough time; she was so busy with other commitments. ➡️ Can’t give up pasta. ➡️ She just had a baby.➡️ She had another baby.➡️ She works full-time.
Her list went on and on. And probably yours does as well.
While these circumstances do play a role in losing weight, at the end of the day it came down to the choices she made. Period.
She chose to eat that extra serving. She chose to sleep in instead of exercising.She chose to not prep her food for the week.
It was all on her.
And it’s all on you. Always.
This is a hard concept to swallow because no one wants to believe his or her failures or challenges are because of the choices they make. They don’t want to believe they are standing in their own way.
But, let’s face it: We all are. We are 100% responsible for our actions — good and bad.
Anyway, after the shock of that “food overhaul” exercise dissipated, she told me she actually felt liberated and she began to feel liberated and excited because she knew that taking control over her weight and life was a reality. All she needed to do was take responsibility for her actions and get out of her own way.
The best way for you too to do this is to change your mindset.
Instead of looking at all the reasons why you can’t lose weight think about the one reason why you can and that reason is YOU ARE IN CONTROL.
Here are some examples of changing your mindset.
Instead of saying . . .
“I can’t exercise because I don’t have the time.”
Say (and do) . . .
“I have a busy schedule but because exercise is a priority to me I am going to fit in 30 minutes of exercise 3 days this week. I will exercise at home either before work or right after. If I get really busy then I will do a few exercises in my office during lunch. To make it easier I will have my exercise gear ready the night before.”
“I can’t eat healthy because I love pasta too much.”
“I am going to look for and/or create healthy pasta recipes. This will help me develop and keep sustainable healthy eating habits because I will not feel deprived of the food I enjoy.”
“It is hard for me to eat healthy because I don’t have time to cook.”
“I am going to put together a meal plan for a few days or more at a time and prep some foods for the week on Sunday. Having healthy foods ahead of time will help me eat better during the week.”
“My condition (whether that’s physical limitations or things like food allergies) keeps me from exercising and/or losing weight.”
“I am going to research and put together a list of exercises I can do and foods I can eat. Then I will schedule time every week to do those exercises. I will also prepare my foods ahead of time so it is easier for me to grab a healthy meal or snack when I need it.”
“My life is so stressful and busy; I have no energy to worry about exercising or eating healthy.”
“Exercising and eating healthy helps me perform at my best. It brings out the best version of me. Therefore, I am going to make it a priority. I will plan ahead of time so I am prepared to exercise and have the foods I need to fuel my body.”
I could go on and on. The point I want you to take away from this is that your mind set and the actions you choose will make all the difference in losing weight and, of course, in creating a healthier lifestyle.
So, instead of saying “I can’t” say “How can I make this work?”
The goal is to be solution-focused. Don’t throw in the towel because you feel losing weight is outside your control. It’s not. You have complete control over the decisions you make. Take control back.
I am not saying this is easy. Taking responsibility for creating change in our life is often very difficult. It first requires recognizing a change needs to happen and that you are responsible for those changes. Then you need the discipline to create and sustain those changes. However, keep in mind change does not need to happen overnight or all at once. Sustainable change takes time and it is a process.
Be patient with the process and create weight loss systems that focus on the habit and not the scale. In the end, healthy sustainable habits are what keep you going.