How You Speak to Yourself Changes Everything
Although written in 2015, I recently came upon an article by Carson Veady, The 10 Keys to Exceeding Expectations and Achieving Results. You can read it for the full narrative/context to each of these points, but each his points assures success to whatever sights we set for ourselves, including of course our weight loss goals.
- Attitude and determination
- Clearly defined goal(s) with a realistic approach
- Adaptability and openness to change
- Supportive/positive/symbiotic relationships
- Conscious daily decision to stay the course
- Ability to not let the unexpected derail you
- Quest for growth
. . . and, I must add a very important Point #11:
Talk nice to yourself.
Sounds simple, I know. You’d think no one really needed to be told this, right? Au contraire. Everyone I meet in my office wants to lose weight and be happy, healthy and successful. Most have been trying for a long time, and all really want that more than anything else. Yet, too often I hear them talk down to themselves. If this is you, I’ll ask you the same three questions I ask them.
- Be honest: Would you be friends with someone who constantly told you how fat you looked? Probably not for very long.
- Would you tolerate a friend who constantly berates you, who never misses an opportunity to tell you you’re hopeless and weak and that you’ll never lose weight? I doubt it.
- So why in the world would you put up with that kind of crappy, abusive talk to yourself?
Talk to yourself like you would someone you love.
When we’re working on achieving something (starting a new business, kicking a bad habit or addiction, etc.) we wouldn’t be human if we never had a twinge of self-doubt as to whether or not we’d achieve ‘it,’ whether it’s possible. But, I suggest to you that every time you hear that little negative voice inside your head, stop whatever it is you’re doing at the time and think of something to encourage yourself— which is, let’s face it, EXACTLY what any of us would do if we were trying to encourage a friend, right? So, instead of the negative self-talk, say out loud to yourself, “Okay, I’m not as slim and fit as I’d like to be yet, but I’m working on it. I’m making progress, and I’m feeling really good about that.”
So, my advice to anyone who wants something so badly (weight loss or otherwise), has put in time and effort (and, no doubt, capital as well), and is berating or belittling themselves “I’m not good enough” or “Why did I ever think I could start and finish this” or “I’m kidding myself, I can’t do this,” reflect on that. Then, give yourself credit for taking a chance, for following a dream or passion, for what you may have been able to accomplish thus far, and then . . . just get back at it. Seek advice from a mentor, a counselor, a colleague, a positive role model, or small business advocate, etc.
Be good to yourself, take care of yourself, believe in yourself and you will succeed.