Published on February 21, 2023
No, I haven’t seen your lipstick. Why do you ask?
One of the more uncomfortable encounters (for them, not for me) with a weight loss client is when they lie to me . . . and I know it every time. Two of the more common scenarios in which this happens are:
Lie #1
A client will show me a perfect food diary — so meticulously planned, written in ink because they were so sure there’d be no need to erase/change anything, a work of art in both content and penmanship — but they have a significant weight gain. They’ll step off the scale and say, “Impossible. I was perfect;” or, “How can that be? My home scale showed a 2 pound loss.”
In asking questions for more details, they often contradict themselves which forces a client into admitting dishonesty — including adding to their “perfect diary” the things they actually ate vs. what they intended to — without my having to call them out
Lie #2
A client will consistently cancel a Monday appointment: “I have to work late;” “I have to go into work earlier;” “My kid’s home sick from school;” “I’m not feeling well;” “I have a repairman coming this morning;” “I have to bring my car in.”
For the client, each of these lies is a one-off: they spew it and forget it. We, however, keep meticulous notes of client sessions as well as cancellations and reasons given. So, after numerous of these occasions, I show them the irrefutable pattern, to which they feign shock and surprise, but which clearly points to the truth: They’ve had bad weekends and want a few more days to try and lose the weight they know they’ve gained over the weekend.
The most common, the #1 go-to reaction from clients who are hell-bent on digging in to avoiding the truth:
“I paid you all this money; why would I lie to you?”
You lie to me because telling the truth feels like giving up control.
You lie to me because you don’t want to disappoint me.
. . . because you’re ashamed that you’re failing at the attempt.
. . . because it’s easier to blame me than accept responsibility.
. . . to avoid accountability.
. . . to avoid making difficult changes.
. . . to feel better about your behavior.
. . . because ‘it’ isn’t a lie to you; you believe it.
. . . because you want it to be true.
. . . to keep from acknowledging a truth about yourself.
. . . because you carry a burden of guilt.
You lie to me because you’ve been doing it for so long when it comes to your weight loss attempts that it’s second nature to you . . . a learned behavior . . . it’s rote response . . . and no one has called you out on it until today.
“If you want to be successful, you must respect one rule: Never lie to yourself.” ~ Paul Coehlo
There are, of course, many reasons why people lie. In my interactions with clients, I believe most often it’s because the person wants the lie to be true so badly that their desire for it to be true, and their need for it to be true, overwhelms their instinct to tell the truth.
To lie to yourself is always counter-productive — like deliberately shooting yourself in the foot or taking a fork and plunging it into your own eyes. I guess that’s why it’s easier for clients to lie to me: it’s less painful to them.
Slimcerely yours℠,
