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Diet-toons

(Click a toon for the punch line.)
×
“I only lost one pound
before I quit my diet.
 
“But if I can do that 50 times,
I’ll lose 50 pounds!”
 
😂
×
“𝐈’𝐦 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧’𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝
𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐬 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐜𝐡.”
 
🤣
×

𝐃𝐨𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭:

“𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐲 𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫?

. . . 𝐞𝐱𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐚 𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐨𝐫
. . . 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝟐𝟒 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐚 𝐝𝐚𝐲?”

😂

×

“𝐌𝐲 𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞
𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐢𝐟 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐭.”

🤣

×

“I wish I was as thin
as my patience.”

😂

×

“𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫
𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐣𝐚𝐫.”

🤣

×
“You know you’re putting on weight
when your butt jiggles, and all you’re
doing is brushing your teeth.”

😂

 
×

“Unfortunately, my daydreams

about being skinny are often cut short

by the sounds of me chewing a cookie.”

🤣

      
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