While obesity affects both women and men, in our experience it’s usually men who prefer not to seek professional assistance, preferring to try to do it on their own . . . initially. We think this is because men are more hesitant to share their personal feelings as to how their weight affects them. Over the years, however, many male clients have spoken candidly about the things that most bothered them about their weight. Here are just a few:
From our younger clients:
I’m very self-conscious about my weight so I don’t go to parties or bars that often.
When I party with my friends, I’m not attracted to the larger girls, but I am hesitant to approach the slim girls.
I’ve gained so much weight that I now have breasts. This inhibits me when it comes to dating.
I am embarrassed to take my shirt off at the beach; I always wear a sleeveless T-shirt.
I’m too heavy to go parasailing anymore.
It’s getting harder to play basketball; I get out of breath very quickly.
From our married male clients:
My wife is as slim and gorgeous as the day I married her. She bothers me about my weight.
I avoid intimacy with my wife because I know how she feels about my gaining so much weight during our marriage.
I developed sleep apnea, and I have to wear a CPAP. If I don’t, I snore so loud that my wife makes me sleep in another room.
My wife and I have been trying to become pregnant without success. The doctor said my weight is a factor in sperm count and motility.
From our older male clients:
I don’t have the physical mobility to really enjoy my grandchildren.
I always wanted to do lots of travelling in retirement, but diabetes-related feet problems make it hard for me to get around.
It really bothered me to give up my golf game; just couldn’t keep up with walking the course and I refuse to take the cart.
Can you relate to any of the above?
Fellas, if your wife is bothering you about your weight, it’s because she loves you . . . and wants to spend a long, enjoyable life together. If she’s slim, and if you’re not the same slim, happy-go-lucky, can-do-anything kind of guy that she married, or the man with all kinds of sports/fitness hobbies that she also loved to do with you—like golfing, boating, running, swimming, skiing, tennis—then your weight also affects her quality of life. Try to see her point of view. Try to see the tables turned, and ask yourself how you would feel.
It’s not only for the sustained mutual physical attraction that we should want to take care of ourselves. We should want to take care of ourselves so we can maintain good health for the duration of our marriages. With obesity, comes medical issues. With medical issues, comes limitations. How do you want to spend the rest of your life with your wife? Do you want to do things and go places? Or, do you want her to spend time taking care of you, reminding you which medications to take, and accompanying you to a myriad of doctors’ appointments?
Also think of your children. Do you ever think about how your obesity affects them? Do you worry about how concerned they might be about your weight and health? Do you think they worry about the many milestones in their lives that you’d miss if your obesity lead to your too-early mortality? Perhaps they worry about their mother being left a widow way before her time.
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Obesity affects men and women about equally, but men of all ages bear a particular burden, since obesity takes a special toll on male hormones, sexuality, and prostate health:
- Obesity wreaks havoc on male hormones and sexuality due to elevated estrogen levels, an increased risk of erectile dysfunction, low sperm counts and reduced sperm motility.
- Obesity increases a man’s risk of developing prostate (and colon) cancer, and the fatter the man, the more aggressive the cancer.
- Obesity increases a man’s risk for kidney stones, gout, diabetes and heart disease.
If you are a very overweight or obese male who cannot see your feet (or your privates), what are you weighting for? We can help.
If you are interested in working with us and would like us to call you, please fill out this questionnaire and we will respond on our next business day.